I started blogging to legitimize my own thoughts and opinions. The education system often gives the impression that if you have not written a book, or have not appeared in a scholarly journal, what you have to say isn't very important. Even the typical assignment style entrenches this in its format; we are asked to cite other authors and never ourselves. If we have our own opinions, they must be backed up by the opinions of more established writers. I wanted to find a creative way to say my opinions matter; so I started blogging. I didn't intend for this blog to ever be famous, and it never was. If someone did want to read it though - my thoughts were online and public. In a sense I could be sourced. I was writing. I was doing something. Then I stopped, as you can see by the large gap between blogs.
When I started this blog I was at a point in my life when I was very confused. How could I call myself vegan when I identified with the theory, but never the people I met who actually called themselves vegan? Who were the real vegans? Were we all just a bunch of fakes? Had veganism ever really been real, and if so what's going on now? This blog gave me a space to think about and answer those questions, and now I don't have them anymore.
Language is complex and constantly changes. It is also public and can be changed by anyone, and the changes can be so profound and yet small that we may never find their source. After thinking about this for some time, I don't think the current meaning of the word vegan really reflects who I am. I need a new word, a better word, a more complex word even, that suggests that I am more than just vegan. Even an obscure word would be good, because that means I'll be given the space to explain what it means to me. When I say vegan now there is a clutter of stereotypes, and it's like trying to find your way through an attic no one wants to know about anymore. So for me that new word is vegan feminist, which works out very well as it's already an established word with a history and some theory behind it. I don't get all the theory though, and I'm just understanding what that means, and an exploration of vegan feminism is where I'll be going next in my new blog.
Hopefully you follow me there if you took the time to read this.